Broken
by Can'tBeatCandor
Summary: Pretty and perfect; the two go hand in hand. I mean, you can hardly be "Perfect" if you're not beautiful... Right?
1. Prolouge

I always wanted to be pretty and perfect. To be that girl; the one everybody loves. I tried so hard to be funny, to be attractive, to be more than just me. I wanted bad things to happen, just so I could have a story. I wanted to be thinner, to be taller, to have longer hair that was blonder. I wanted my blue eyes to be bluer. I tried so hard to act like I had it all together, to act Iike I loved myself. But the truth was that I barely knew myself. I wished I was tanner, had a more toned body and had a better sense of fashion. But I wonder if any of it would've helped me. I was always just there. Loud, annoying, and too bland to be attractive. I always wanted to me just more. More than me. To be loved and admired. So I went further. I laughed louder and longer, and cried obviously. I told weird lies and tried. I tried and tried and tried. But at some point, I realize that all this trying has gotten me nowhere. And I stopped. Now I'm left to wonder. What is left?


	2. Change

A long time ago I was happy.

My sister Blake and I lived with our older brother Zander, and our mother Aphrodite. I ran around, and never felt ugly. Never felt unwanted. Never felt like a thing. To my siblings, I was always a person. My mother was never the most committed. She always had time to do our hair and teach us how to properly apply eyeliner, but when it came time to make dinner or teach us math, she was nowhere to be found. I was always smarter than my siblings, and I don't mean that in a conceited way. I started talking 2 months before Blake, and we were twins. I always loved reading, I found it much more exciting to imagine my own characters than to be stuck with whoever was hired to play a role in the movie.

I dreamed of being an actress, I still do. Of becoming so beautiful that I was always in demand to play heroines. My mother used to braid my hair with a ribbon before the day. Blake usually got silver, and I got gold. She would wrap her beautifully slender arms around me when she was done braiding and whisper in my ear, "Gold; because one day your beauty will win medals.. and to bring out the highlights in your hair." I realize now I probably got gold because my hair was so boring without it. And Aphrodite wouldn't want to deal with some straw-haired child.

I eventually outgrew my ribbons. I think Blake kept hers.

She always was Mommy's favorite.

I didn't realize until later that there was only one pretty twin, and it wasn't me. I guess that Zeus's perfect powers gave Blake a better complexion than Poseidon's gave me. I grew up with lifeless stick-straight blonde hair and watery blue eyes that made me look tired. I never noticed in Olympus. I was always too busy experimenting with magic makeup, or shopping with my mom. I remember the day this change happened. The day I went from the happy, curious, sassy, smart twin to sad, sad sister. The day I realized how ugly I really was. How disproportionate. The day we left the sanctuary of my mom's palace and went to camp. The last normal day of my life.

_Blake, naturally, looked as perfect as always, while I looked like a strange librarian._

_My blonde hair was tied into a neat topknot, while my skinny jeans nearly cut off my circulation. I had a plain white tank top with a straight hemline and a navy blue blazer with the crest of Poseidon over my breast pocket. That day Blake and I held hands, even though we were already too old. We walked over the green wave of grass and down the hill to the pavilion. "It sucks that mom sent us here..." I sighed dramatically, surveying the camp from the top of the hill._

_Blake crossed her arms with a pout "This is such a waste of my life!"_

_I nodded my agreement, and then proceeded to stalk down the hill. I was going to speak to the manager... Or whoever was in charge here._

_Blake groaned, "We are so going to get out of this, this, this whole camp. It is so lame. I can't do this!" she complained before noticing a tall camper walking below us, he was carrying a water gun._

_The cute boy with a water gun was looking at me, so I gave him a flirty wave._

_The boy smirked me, winked, then raised his water gun to send a stream of water right through my white shirt, and Blake's too._

_"What the hell?!" I shrieked as Cute Boy soaked my new shirt. Looking down I flushed pink and I realized my leopard-print bra was fully visible._

_Blake looked down to her neon pink bra and crossed her arms looking at him, "Are you insane!" She asked going over to him with an angry look, "You have no idea who you're even messing with and this isn't funny."_

_Cute Boy laughed, "What are you Aphrodite girls going to do? Attack me with makeup?!"_

_I smirked at him, briefly wondering how he had guessed our mom. I decided to ignore it, he had messed with the wrong 'Aphrodite' girls. "Maybe," I pretended to ponder the makeup plan, "or I might do this." Smiling innocently I summoned most of the water to evaporate off of Blake and I; then sent it in a stream towards Michael, knocking him on his butt._

_Blake smirked as he fell, and sent a little shock to him on the ground. Not enough to hurt him; just to give him a tingle. "Or we might do that." she said, shocking him again._

_Michael laughed and sat up, not the expected response, shaking his hair to get rid of the extra water. "You're Zander's sisters, aren't you?" He asked ruefully._

_Blake made a face at Zander's mention; he actually had came to camp willingly. "Yeah, we are. Your point?"_

_I smirked down at him as he stood up, "Yeah, what is your point?"_

_Michael stood, "you're just like him... But hotter." He winked at Blake_

_Blake gave him a look back. "Yeah I guess you could put it that way. I'm Blake and this is Rylie." She said to him with crossed arms_

_"I'm Michael. Welcome to camp." He smiled_

_"Thanks for the welcome gift." I snarked, gesturing to my still slightly-damp shirt._

_Blake snickered "Yeah thanks a lot, Michael. And now that we're here I'm already over this." She said to me. It was hot, and guys were shooting water at us. Blake had always hated water._

_I laughed, "I was over this before we walked in." I smirked to her conspiratorially. I failed to notice how close Michael had gotten._

_"Nice to meet you." Michael wrapped her in his arms, stared into her startled eyes, and kissed her deeply "Have fun here." He let her go, winked, and turned to leave, ignoring me completely. It was all she could do not to faint. I wondered if all boys were like that at camp._

I realized then that I really was the ugly sister. I would be ignored by boys while my sister was kissed by the camp's very own Bad Boy Bachelor.

I grew thinner and thinner, but nothing could get rid of the chub in my cheeks; and the rest of my body had never looked worse. I gave up soon after, and gained weight slowly, finally approaching normal. Blake remained a perfect 100lbs with rosy cheeks and a full figure. Her stomach, somehow, managed to be flatter than paper. With all my I.Q. points combined, I'll never understand how my sister has all her luck. Maybe it was the ribbons she kept. Maybe it was her magic smile. Maybe it was just because she wasn't me.


	3. Makeup Serious

I looked up from my edition of Seventeen magazine to a hysterical twin.

"RylieRylieRylie! Oh gods I really f**ked up!" Blake came running into my cabin

I wondered if she had perhaps smudged her nail polish, spilled makeup on a dress, or some other travesty. "What's wrong?" I asked seriously. Girl problems were always serious; no matter how trifle spilled makeup seemed to others.

Blake sat down on the bed next to me in obvious shcock. "Rylie...Michael and I. We had sex. But...but then. I thought we were protected. And-" she said quietly, holding back tears.

So... Definitely more serious than lipstick. "Are you..?" I asked quietly, wondering why she didn't tell me as soon as she'd had sex.

Blake nodded biting her lip, "And my life is over, Rylie! Michael's going to hate me. And think of camp; everyone's going to think I'm a _slut_. And Mom? She'll hate me too." she started to rant

I grabbed her hand, and she looked at me. "Blake, our Mom, the _GODDESS OF LOVE_, will not hate you for having sex. Michael will not hate you;_ he_ forgot the condom. And I might have an idea about camp..." I said the last part softly, thinking about a show I once saw on television.

Blake sighed, "I don't know, I knew I shouldn't have done it. It just felt so perfect and right and I guess I was just too stupid to check...And how can we fix camp? Everyone will know. Its not even fair! Zan has sex all the time and he's not a father yet...oh my gods I'm going to be a mother...I can't do this!"

I frowned, "But.. what... What if..what if I get pregnan? We.. Could do this together?" I offered so softly I could barely hear myself

Blake's eyes widened "You would do that?.. But, I don't want you to feel like you have too. I messed up, not you."

I closed my eyes, determined. I may not be of much use to anyone, but I _could_ and I _would_ comfort my sister. "no.. I can't let u do this alone. What are sisters for?" I offered a weak smile

Blake reached over and hugged me, "What about Warner though?" she asked me, still in the hug

"You're more important." I told her

Blake nodded, pulling away and drying her eyes, "How...and how am I even going to tell Michael?"

"Just tell him. No embellishments, and definitely no "I'm sorry". Tell the truth." I advised.

Blake hugged her knees to her chest; staying silent for a moment. "I'm so scared he'll get mad, I just don't want to lose him."

I sighed, "You know Michael. And if he would leave you, he's not worth it."

Blake nodded again, because she knew I was right. "I know. Rylie thank you so much. For being here, for listening to me whine. I don't know what I would do without you honestly."

I smiled slightly, "You'd probably be fine." I stated honestly. Nobody could need ugly little me. I'm just kind of here.

Blake shook my head fervidly, "No seriously, your the first person I even thought of telling. I would be insane right now if I didn't have you to calm me down."

I pulled Blake into a hug, "It means a lot for you to say that." I told her, not fully believing

Blake hugged me back "Your welcome. Its so true though Rylie. Your so important to me. Really."

I smiled, "Your important to me too. Now go tell your baby daddy!" I tried to sound light-hearted

Blake tried to laugh, though it came out fake and forced. I realized my joke was a little too soon and a lot to close to heart. "I guess so." Blake said, frowning and getting up "Thanks for everything Rylie, and If I come back soon crying to you about Mike; promise you'll be there to get me chocolate?"

I smiled for real. "Are you kidding? I'll have chocolate regardless. I have to find a way to... With Warner." I winced thinking about it.

Blake bit her lip "If he won't do it you don't have to. Honestly."

"He doesn't have to know. He's been hinting for a while that he wants to... I'll just say I'm ready. I am, you know? I am ready." I decided forcefully.

"If your ready, its so worth it. I mean other then our first kiss it was one of my favorite days ever." I told her thinking to it with a smile "I should really go talk to Mike now." Blake said softly

I nodded, "Alright." I pulled her close for one last hug then shoved her out the door. "Do it now; before you lose your confidence." I bravely smiled until she was gone. Then I collapsed on my bed.


	4. First

We've already established that I'm not the pretty one. I never was. But I was the eldest. I was the one who went places first, and said things that I later wanted to take back. But I said them first. I had the first boyfriend. I had my first kiss.. First.

But now she was pregnant.

And I was a virgin.

This was _not supposed to happen._

I was supposed to get proposed to. _First_. Then I'd have my splendid wedding._ First_. Then _I'd_ get pregnant. _First_.

But I guess Blake always was the lucky one. She never took turns and always got what she wanted. I knew- No. I _know_ that it's silly to believe that she's lucky for getting pregnant.. but she undeniably was. She would get the spotlight when she had her baby first. I would get the second wind visitors. She would get the attention.. not that she needed any more.. while I would stand in her shadow.

And still she came to me in tears. Wondering how it could have happened. _How am I pregnant, Rylie? What am I going to do, Rylie? _There were minutes between us, but it often felt like years. But still I held her. I held my broken sister, and her unborn child. I comforted her and played the role I've always played. I agreed to do something foul, for her. I agreed to lie, for her. I agreed to have unprotected sex with the express purpose of getting pregnant, without telling my boyfriend, for her.

It always was for her.

Sometimes I feel as though all I am is a pathway, or maybe a stone-setter. I came out first just so I could pave a way for her. Wouldn't want to soil her shoes by stepping off the rocks I set for her.

Maybe that's why this was such a shock.

She stepped off the rocks.

She ventured into territory even_ I_ didn't know.

And she got dirty.

And now I have to clean her mess.

Shaking my head I stop, mourning for myself will do me no good; and will do Blake and her unborn child even less good. She needed my support? As always she would have it.

After Blake left my room, I walked slowly to Warner's cabin, he was sitting in the Hermes Cabin doing push-ups on the floor next to his bed in his private Captain's quarters. "Hey Rylie." he flashed his too-sexy-to-be-true smile at me.

I smirked at him, playing my role. "Looking hawt, Warner." I teased with an easy smile, surprised by how simple it was to smile and pretend to be pretty.

Warner winked at me before chuckling, "Always/ that's my job... So what's up?" he asked, sitting up from his push-ups and plopping down on his bed. He tapped lightly beside him, beckoning me. _This might be easier than expected.._ I thought as I walked calmly over.

"I'm ready." I stated plainly, hoping he could read between the lines

Warner held my gaze for a moment, and I thought my rouse was broken. He knew something was wrong! "Ok babe, if you're sure." His arms wrapped constricting around me and he closed his eyes; kissing me deeply. I wondered briefly how long he had been waiting for me to say that. No questions asked? It was probably better this way. I kissed him back fiercely, feeling protected in his arms.

"Hold on." He pulled away, _damm*t_, I thought. "Are you sure about this?" he asked in a guilty tone.

"I took Aphrodite's pill and everything." I lied. "I'm ready." I made myself meet his eyes, putting an innocent gleam in my own blue pools.

Warner looked at me suspiciously and I could tell he didn't quite believe me. "What changed your mind? Its not even a special day or whatever?"

I shrugged innocently, "I'm just ready.. That's all. Are you ready?" I pulled back, not wanting to force this on him. It wasn't right of me.. It was too high a price to pay.. I was about to break and tell him everything when he met my eyes again.

"I've been ready Rye, I just..." Warner looked away, then went back to kissing me. Apparently he had given up.

My fingers ran across his chest and under his shirt. Tentatively, I pulled it off him, I was so unsure.

Luckily for me, Warner was less unsure. I could sense his smirk as he lifted my shirt and began kissing my neck...

Afterwards I lay panting slightly next to Warner. We were both naked. I wondered if I was already pregnant.

Warner smiled as he looked at me. "You are so beautiful." he must have been lying.

His words felt like an affront. The blade I'd stabbed him with had been stabbed back into me. I felt lower than low. I had lied to my boyfriend. "_You're_ perfect." I whispered, cuddling close to him.

Warner put his arm around me and pulled me close, I felt like he was suffocating me. "No, _You're_ perfect. I love _you_ Rylie." His soft whisper made me feel sick inside.

"I love you too." I said honestly, keeping the self-pity out of my voice._ This is for Blake.. for Blake.. and her baby.. _I blocked my mind from everything but him. I didn't deserve him. He didn't deserve this... What I was doing to him. I looked over to him, and his eyes were filled with an adoration I'd never deserved. "Oh.. Warner.." I sighed. "You always were too perfect. Too everything. I'll never be good enough." I began to stand, reaching for my shorts.

Warner tried to protest, "Hey hey hey!"he said stopping me. He moved my chin so I was was looking at him. "Don't say that. You're perfect Rylie, I adore you. Don't say your not good enough you're more than enough!"

"I love you." Was all I could whisper futility and I leaned down to kiss him and pulled my shirt on. Leaving my bra wherever it was I ran from his cabin

I could hear him whisper after me, "Love you more."

_I doubt it.._ I thought as I left


	5. Gone

I paced back in forth within the privacy of my room. I failed my Mom's magic pregnancy test... I still wasn't pregnant. Groaning I threw it in the trash, on top of the pile of other used tests. Even though it was guaranteed to be accurate; I still tried half-a-dozen times anyway, wanting the little red minus sign to change into a plus. I almost laughed, thinking about how many other girls wished for the opposite. I'd had sex 3 times in the past 2 weeks, and Warner was getting suspicious. He wasn't likely to stop it from happening again, but I was tired of pressuring him. I was tired of living this lie to him. I was actually just plain tired.

I sat down with a migraine that could've walked and talked if it wanted to. It didn't want to. Instead, it preferred to bang around my brain and attack my head with chain-saws. Everything about me hurt. Down to my heart. My heart hurt most of all. I never knew my heart could break for someone else, and that even so I could love right through the cracks. But maybe that hurt most of all. All the lost love that bled through my cracks. The energy and time I spent on this.. Project.. for Blake. That was just... Gone.

I raise my eyes to the mirror and take in the scene before me. My cheeks are sunken in and my watery-blue eyes seem blank. My lips are dried out, pale-pink and cracked like my heart. I listlessly grab at my cherry-scented Chapstick, glancing at the chipped blue nail polish on my nails. My hair, thankfully, is pulled up into a high bun, so I can't see it. Although the straw color is evident.. And unappealing. For my child's sake, I hoped she has her fathers looks. If I ever get pregnant that is. I turn away from the mirror that taunts me. Reminding me that I'm broken. And even if I wasn't, I'd never be pretty. Unfortunately I don't have time for self-pity. I have time to fix my smeared make-up and put on a dress. I have time to walk to Warner's cabin and have diner. I have time to get pregnant. For Blake.


	6. Wasteland

Blue eyes.

Smokey shadow.

Pale pink lips.

Untouchably perfect skin.

Watery eyes.

A wasteland of blacks and greys.

Over-done lips.

Make-up caked cheeks.

Nobody can see me.

Nobody can tell.

Nobody.

With a sigh I slip into my clingy blue dress, trying to drag any color I have in my eyes out. My makeup is done to perfection, or as close as a girl like me can get. My stick-straight hair is curled loosely into beachside waves, and I'm almost ready to go. A final swipe of shimmery lip-gloss hurries me out the door to Warner. He's waiting for me.

"Hey Beautiful." He taunts me without trying; using words I know don't describe me. "Don't you look sexy." He pulls me into his arms and lightly nips at my neck.

I sigh and smile fakely, "What do we have planned for tonight?" I ask him softly, not really caring. It doesn't actually matter. We'll end up having sex. We always do.


	7. Sunscreen and Summer Love

The door of my room stayed shut. It hasn't opened in 4 days. People have tried. But I'm not coming out.

My heart is beating faster every second, and although I know it's ridiculous, I can almost imagine hearing a second heart beating. A smaller heart.

5 used pregnancy tests lay on the floor. I had taken one every day. The little red '+' sign hadn't gone away. I was happy for myself. I was glad to be pregnant. I wouldn't change my mind for anything. Right?

This is what I wanted. Right?

I was happy with my decisions. Right?

It's been 6 days since I've eaten, and I know that I should eat, but I can't bear the thought of leaving my room and facing people. I've developed insomnia. I haven't slept for 2 straight days. I'm starting to hear colors.

I've been pregnant 5 days.

Five. Days.

Blake has, as of today, been pregnant 49 days.

Warner doesn't know what's happened. He thinks I have the flu.

Blake doesn't know what's happened. But I think she suspects.

Jenna definitely doesn't know, although she's dropped off soup twice.

I haven't left my room.

I won't leave my room.

I can't.

Can I?

The questions swirl around in my head, making my sleep-less brain ache and my stomach rumble.

_I have to leave_._ I have to eat_._ I have to sleep_. The checklist repeats itself in my head, again and again, until each word loses it's meaning. I'm in so much pain I can barely stand, but I do. I want to the door and open it. I step outside into the light.

I close my eyes and feel the gentle warmth of the sun shine on me, and I smell sunscreen and summer love on the gentle August breeze. I'm not dressed for summer. My hair is pulled into a raggedy, half-destroyed bun and I'm not wearing make-up. I haven't showered in 6 days, and I'm pretty sure I broke out on my chin, but I haven't checked a mirror recently. All I'm wearing is a semi-long old shirt of Warner's, it almost covers my pink and blue polka-dot hipster undies. Almost.

As if in a trance, I unsteadily place one bare foot in front of the other, making my way slowly to the dining area. I keep my eyes focused on the chipped green paint of my toenails, unwilling to meet the questioning eyes of campers around me.

Finally.

I sit down at my seat, waiting for the plate to fill with chocolate-chip pancakes covered in whip-cream, apples dipped in nutella, and a glass of water. When they appear, I eat each bite slowly, trying to ignore the pain in my stomach. I don't want to make myself sick. I hear footsteps behind me, and I turn to see Blake.

"Hey, Rye." she says softly, sitting next to me. Her breasts have already started swelling, although they were so big before I wonder if anyone else has noticed.

"Hey Blake-y." I force a smile, tearing my eyes away from the pancakes that call to me. From the nutella. Gods I love nutella. "What are you up to?" I ask innocently, pretending that I'm not half-dressed and completely disgusting. Pretending that it isn't 2:36 and I'm eating pancakes. Pretending that I didn't stay locked in my cabin for 4 days.

There's only one problem.

There's no use pretending.

I am pregnant. And I can't pretend I'm not


	8. It Was My Heart

My hair was brushed and clean, and my make-up was Aphrodite perfect. I felt better than I had all week, thanks to a forced shower from Blake. Caleb's back. He is the child of Zeus and Ke$ha. Before you worry about, "Oh Ke$ha's too young to have a teenage child; you're wrong. Ke$ha is the child of Apollo and the Greek Muse Erat, He had been missing for over a year. Now he is back with no excuse for his absence. _Screw people,_ I thought bitterly. _Oh wait, you already have._

I've been pregnant 7 days. 3 hours. 26 minutes. Warner invited me over for dinner. I don't know what to do. Nervously pacing, I decide to wear a loose dress, wide-belted tightly.I feel my hair cascade down my back in a simple fishtail, and I slip into my favorite sandals. I'm ready.

I walk up to Warner, who is cutely waiting for me outside his cabin. I know he's trying hard because his shirt is actually clean for once. "Hey." I mutter shyly

Warner laughs, putting his arms around me and bringing me in for a quick kiss "Hey, Rylie." he smiles

I force a smile in return, still tasting his sweet kiss. I can't do this anymore

Warner looks at me for a second, as if he's going to ask me something. He doesn't. "Come inside." he places his hand around my waist, sending a shiver down my spine. His touch on my waist reminds me of the baby I'm carrying. The. Baby. Growing. In. Me. He leads me into his room, which had been cleaned and set up for a nice casual dinner. "Tada" he smile at me, I almost cry.

"Wow." I manage to smile, thinking _would you even look at me if you knew?_

Warner grins "I know, I just wanted to do something nice for you," he smiles at me. I want so badly to tell him, I can almost here my heart rip.

"Warner.. We need to talk."

Warner's grin disappeared in a matter of seconds "Well. Ok? What's up?" he asks me leaning against the wall sexily.

My eyes well up with tears so fast I hardly have time to blink before I'm balling. "This.. Relationship.. I.. I.. I can't do it... I just.. I just can't lie.. I love you... We.. We can't be together.. This just.. Isn't working." I turn to flee, but he grabs my hand as I turn to leave. I can tell he's shocked.

"Wait wait hold up Rye can we talk about this?" His voice sounds desperate and I feel something inside me die. It's not the baby. It's my heart.

"No." I wrench my hand from his and run, losing my shoe but not stopping to get it. I know he is hurting, but it was the right thing to do. Right? RIGHT?


	9. Breathless

_I always wanted to be pretty and perfect. To be that girl; the one everybody loves._

I still want that. I'll always want that. I can cry myself breathless and tear up my favorite dress. I can lock myself in my room and refuse to shower. I can pretend that I've given up, that I don't care. But I'll always be an Aphrodite Girl. I'll always want to be pretty, to be perfect, to be Barbie. I'll always want to be _loved_. Isn't that what everyone wants? I know it's all I've ever wanted. All I'll ever want. Who cares about beauty and grace in the long run; when there's love?! But I'm the middle child. Mom had Zander, her only son, and Blake; her beautiful daughter. What good was I? What good am I? It's one thing to be loved; but I have to earn my love. I have to earn it, or it has no meaning. That's why I had to break my heart. That's why I had to let go of Warner. I had to set him free. I don't deserve him. I never will.


	10. Ten

I have decided to blame Michael. Seriously. All his fault. If he could have just controlled his urges, or used some goddamn protection, nobody would be here. Blake would not be pregnant. I would not be pregnant. Warner would not be so confused.

I could not be having morning sickness all day.

My breasts would not be swelling up. Although I actually don't mind that part.

I would not be forced to use my Aphrodite powers every day to cover my bump.

It really is so much _work_ being pregnant.

All through October I was fine; I even dated. Well, I tried to date. You remember Caleb? Well… He's always had a thing for me. I can't tell you why. Maybe it's because I look a little like Blake and she's so pretty, but he can't date her because they're half-siblings. Whatever it is, I used it. I used him. I'm becoming _such_ a man-eater… But I kinda ruined our on again-off again relation after 3 weeks.

_"Caleb… I need to tell you something." I whispered softly, my eyelashes fluttering with insecurity. "I'm pregnant."_

_Caleb leapt back, completely shocked. "That's not mine." he managed to stutter. I knew it wasn't his. I wasn't stupid enough to have had sex again. Gods. _

_"I-I-I know.. I just needed to tell someone. I've been pregnant since September... It's Warner's." I looked away, beyond embarrassed. "I'm so sorry. I just can't lie to you anymore." I confess, forcing myself to meet his eyes I force the truth out. "We shouldn't be dating."_

The memory makes me blush, embarrassed for both of us, again. So far he hasn't told anyone.

Now it's November 10th. It's almost funny, because I'm roughly 10 weeks pregnant. Ten. Maybe that'll be my new lucky number. I doubt it though; I haven't been having much luck recently.


	11. Reassurance?

I look up from the comfortable pile of pillows I'm resting on as Blake walks in. It's my 15th week pregnant, and Blake's 21st. When she takes the charm to hide her belly off, which she rarely does, you can see her baby bump has popped. Mine's a bit bigger than my belly was before, but nothing close to hers. "Hey Blake-y," I smile at her, "whats up?" I wonder why she's here, usually she hangs out with Michael or sleeps in her own Cabin, not that I'm complaining about her visit. I get seriously lonely in here, and the door is just… too far. Pregnancy has caused me to become extremely lethargic.

I'm slightly worried by Blake's nervous frown, put it can't possibly be worse than I'm pregnant. And I've already heard that. "You're not going to like this…" she starts slowly, as if she's scared of me. I don't know why, it should be me scared of her. Scared of the news she brings. Instead of balking in fear, which I want to do, I straighten up.

"You know you can tell me anything." I reassure. That's always been my job, hasn't it? To make Blake feel like her mistakes weren't that bad, even when they were life-falteringly awful.

"I…maybe told Michael." Her voice was small and gentle, as if she expected me to be hurt by them. I laughed; I knew that she'd told Michael.

"Hasn't Michael known about your pregnancy all along?" I asked, "I thought you told him weeks ago." I smiled at her, "He's your boyfriend, and I think you can trust him not to spill your secret." I finished, patting her on the back. I wasn't sure why she was so worried about Michael knowing, but I was there to reassure her. I always was. Blake looked away, her eyes downcast.

"He knows you're pregnant." She replied, her voice barely audible. Suddenly, everything made sense; from her nervous frown to her overly-sensitive voice. There are moments when your heart quite literally skips a beat. When everything falls out of context and you forget how to breathe. This was one of those moments.

"What?" My voice was a soft whisper, low and dangerous. My eyes bore holes in her head, and she looks away again, unwilling to take my glare. I said before, it's my job to reassure her. But I can't reassure her on this, because it's not ok. It's not even remotely ok. I feel as though my deepest privacy has been violated, because it has. She's placed Michael above me. She's told him my secrets.

"I'm really sorry I told him. I know I wasn't supposed to but we were discussing names and I brought your name up and then I had to explain. I'm sorry." Her voice is still quiet, and I want to laugh, or scream. I wonder what she's thinking; maybe if Rylie can't hear me she won't get mad? If she's thinking that, I only have one message. I am mad.

The silence lengthens as my eyes flutter shut. This is my baby sister here. If she can't keep my secrets, secrets that I only carry to protect her, how in _Tartarus _can anyone trust her with a child? "And what did he say?" I ask at long last, opening my eyes slowly. I keep my voice low, trying to keep the raw feelings she exposed out of my voice. I watch her as she replied, scrunching in on herself and wincing as she opens her mouth.

"He wants you to tell Warner." She lets out a breath, obviously relieved that she finally said it. I'm not. I wish she'd kept her mouth shut, and never came in.

"And who's going to make me tell him?" I ask in a voice that is certainly not my own. I don't get mad. I don't hold grudges, and I don't threaten. But I'm not feeling myself right now, and maybe that's a good thing. I let the fire fill me, glaring at Blake. I may have originally blamed Michael, but Blake was an equal participant, I'm assuming, in how the baby was made. And now Blake is telling him my secrets, getting him involved, and making everything much worse than it ever was.

"Michael will…He said if you don't tell Warner, he will. Tonight." At least this time she met my eyes as she told me. I could look into the eyes of my killer as she plunged the blade in. But a blade can't kill a beast of fire.

"Oh really?" I ask in that scary voice that is not my own, my eyebrows climbing. I can't even register what's happening to me. Half of my heart wants to be the bigger sister, to hold Blake and tell her it's ok. The other half wants to slap her silly, and then kill Michael. Well… maybe not _kill_ him… "And what makes you think I'll **ever** talk to you again if you let him?" She shrugs slowly, and the act of nonchalance digs her blade a little deeper.

"Nothing? I begged him not to, I'll as him again.. But.. Warner kinda does deserve to know." Maybe blades can't kill a beast of fire, but I'm not exactly made of fire, now am I? I'm a daughter of Poseidon. I should've known better than to trust a flame. If you play with fire, you will get burned... And sometimes, burns _can_ kill.

My eyebrows fall and my anger shatters. "You don't think I know that? You think that doesn't haunt me every day? But your my sister, you're supposed to be on my side.. Just go. I don't want to see you." My voice cracks and I point to the door, my fire burned out and my voice a drizzle. "I can't believe I ever did this for you." I lie, because I still love her. I know in my heart, if she asked, I'd do it again.


	12. Judgment

I'm so tired of sitting here scared. Of sitting here waiting for the worst to happen. Of waiting in general. Sighing, I reapply my charm and stand, hunting for a cute skirt and maybe a crop top. I want to feel sexy again… even if I never looked it. Pulling my long hair back in a fishtail, I leave my cabin. I have every day now, for meals and such. But I'm doing this for a different reason. I want to get my life back on track.

I spot Jenna standing near her cabin, the Demeter Cabin, and I walk over. "Hey Jen." I smile at my second best friend, my first being Blake of course… or at least it was Blake… Jenna knew my secret, and I felt safe with her. She was loyal and honest and I loved her. We were talking about shoe sales when Michael and Warner rounded the corner, discussing something that looked important. I turn away, hoping it isn't what I know it is.

Warner's voice booms from behind my back, and I know he's walking over. My heart stops. I didn't think it would be like this when he found out. "RYLIE!" His voice calling my name cuts like a knife. "YOU'VE BEEN PREGNANT AND YOU DIDN'T _TELL_ ME?!" the anger in his voice is raw, and I can tell I've hurt him all over again. _Thanks Michael_, I think, _thanks for ruining everything, again. There's a reason I didn't tell him. This is that reason! _The entire camp, or everyone within hearing range turns to stare at me. Judging me.

"What?" I ask him as if the entire didn't hear what he said, my voice small and meek.

"Warner! Get back here!" I hear Michael yell at Warner, as if from a great distance. I don't turn to look at him. I don't feel the December winds… I don't feel Jenna's hand squeezing mine. All that exists in my world is Warner and I. All I can see is his eyes, so filled with rage and disappointment.

"Rylie? Did you or did you not get pregnant and not tell me?" He asks more softly, more aware of the eyes on us than I am. Although I don't look away from his beautiful eyes, I can feel heat rising to my cheeks. I open my mouth to respond, but he already knows the answer. "Gods Rylie, **why**_?_ Why didn't you tell me, how long has it been _5 _months?" His voice cracks at the end. _Why does this hurt so badly, _I think._ I know what I've done is wrong, and I'm trying to fix it! Why does everything I touch burn? I thought I was the daughter of Poseidon…_

Finally I can't take it anymore. I close my eyes, escaping from the wrath of his. "I didn't want you to deal with my choices... You deserve better than this." I point to my belly, though it's still covered by a charm

"That?" He asks, looking to my bare stomach. It does look a little less than pregnant… And of course I'm wearing a crop top. In December. "Look I still care about you, and our baby. We don't have to be together but I want a part of its life." He argues, breaking my heart. Like I could bare to be around him without feeling the desire to kiss him?

"You don't really want this!" I argue, ignoring the gathering crowd. "I don't deserve you... Nobody will blame you if you walk away. You should walk away!" I yell at him, dying for him to just leave. To escape me. Then he makes it even worse. Forcing me to look into his eyes again, he takes my hand.

"Look I'm still here, I'm not going to walk away and leave you. I want to be there for you and our baby. I want to help." He tries to reason with me, his logic making sense but still hurting. He. Does. Not. Deserve. This. Why doesn't he understand that all I want is for him to be happy? For him to find the right girl, a pretty girl who won't lie to him? I love him so much that I can't bare to be me without him, but I still want him to be him.

"No Warner! Stop being so nice to me! I've done nothing for you!" I reply, pulling my hand back. Hoping he'll just leave.

"Your right, you haven't done a single thing for me at all. But that doesn't mean I have to be a d**k about it, do you want me to not help?" his voice is rising in frustration, and I try not to take his words to heart. He's right. I've been a terrible girlfriend.

"Are you saying I need your help? I don't! I can keep this baby by myself!" I shout at him, just hoping he'll leave already…why won't he _leave_?

"Ok so now I'm the bad guy? Ok Rylie you know what do what you want! You don't need my help? Fine!" He laughs bitterly as he pushes through the throng that has gathered, and all their eyes on me. They're watching, waiting for me to break. It's funny; they don't know I already have.


	13. Eyes

**_Authors Note: This story would quite literally not be possible without my twin soul and co-writer Queenbee19. Check out Blake's side of all this drama in her story "Perfection." Look at her story and leave us both reviews! We loves reviews ;)_**

"Fine." I whisper after Warner, watching him disappear into the crowd. The crowd that stares at me. Eyes. Everywhere. Staring at me. Judging me. Eyes. Waiting for my next move. Eyes. Eating up my secrets. Eyes. I can hardly breathe. I'm suffocating. This is why Blake was worried, she didn't want to deal with all these eyes on her. Judging her like they were judging me. And then, like magic, she was there.

"I'm more pregnant! I was pregnant first!" Her voice echoes in the crowd, and the eyes are gone. They swivel to face my sister, the pretty one. The one born for spotlight. For the center stage. And now she had it.

"What?" my voice is a soft whisper, and it almost cracks. What does she think she's doing? I'm supposed to protect her, why is she here for me?

"It's true; I was pregnant like a month before Rylie." She continues, acting like pregnancy was a competition, and she was winning. I crack a smile and laugh through my tears.

"That's right everyone, be jealous. She was pregnant first." I smirk, hugging my twin close. With her by my side I can ignore the eyes; it's much easier now that she has half of them. I can just ignore their confused glances and awkward silence.

" Yes, be very, very jealous." Blake smirks smugly in a joking tone as we begin walking out of the circle of eyes. Away from their judgment. Away from their hate. Towards chocolate. Always walk towards chocolate.


	14. The Birthday Girls

When my brother Zander, the son of Aphrodite and Hades, turned 19, there had been a surprise ceremony. Both of his parents had shown up, and suddenly he had become a God. He was a real God, with full powers and an official title that had been chosen for him at birth. Now he was Zander; the God of Sex and Manipulation. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Blake and I are god-lings, we have more powers than the average demigod, but nothing close to the full reign a God or Goddess has.

My birthday is tomorrow. We turn 18, Blake and I, but everyone knows that Zander matured late and all eyes are on us. _The pregnant girls_. _The Birthday girls_. _The soon-to-be-Goddess-Girls_? I don't know... I'm not sure if I can deal with being a Goddess right now. I hope that everyone is wrong and Zander didn't mature late, that he received his Godliness right on time, and that I won't be a Goddess until my 19th birthday. In a _year_.

Our Birthday is January 5th.

I got pregnant on September 16th.

I'm going to have a baby soon... and I'm having a party to celebrate my own birth. Whyyy?


	15. Broken

Sometimes I think all I am is a fragment. As if I'm not really whole, or even half a person. As if I'm just a mistake… Waiting to be undone. As if I could close my eyes and bite my lip, and then be gone. As if I'm just a dream. That's all I can be, and feel this way. Feel this shattered… Feel this incomplete. But it doesn't have to be like this. I'm not a fragment, or a dream. I'm not a will-o-the-wisp that will never be captured… I can be more. I am broken, scarred and ugly. But does it matter? My child will be more than I ever will be. My son. The words send a shiver through me. My son. I know what he is now. I read a book recently, and a quote from Jodi Lynn Anderson explains my situation eloquently. "And I never expected that you could have a broken heart and love with it too, so much that it doesn't seem broken at all."


	16. Reflections

_I look into the mirror_

_And yet what do I see?_

_A frayed and broken image_

_Of the girl who once was me_

_But my path's become so twisted_

_Not sure which road to take_

_My heart I can't decipher_

_Yet the choice is mine to make._

_So innocent I was_

_Filled with life and glee_

_How full of song and love_

_The girl who once was me_

_But now all paths have shattered_

_And shards lodge in my heart_

_No one left to turn too_

_I feel I've come apart_

_But looking in the mirror_

_I can almost see_

_If I squint my eyes and turn my head_

_The girl who once was me_

_-Rylie Conner_

I pick my head up from the page as my alarm goes off. It's 5:30am… and I'm supposed to be getting up. The only problem; I never slept. Sighing, I close my diary and walk over to my vanity. It's a beautiful piece of furniture; matching with my sleigh bed and nightstand in a rich dark mahogany. The mirror is a 4.5x3.5 frame that I keep spotless; no dust to disturb my already imperfect reflection. Taking my poems advice, I tilt my head slightly to the left and squint my eyes in concentration; looking past the reflection_. Is she still there? That girl who ran and played with golden ribbons in her hair? Because I can't see her at all._ I think to myself_. This girl with the purple bags under her eyes and the mousy hair that needs a wash? Who is she? This girl with the breakable arms and the self-esteem problems? What is her name? Rylie Conner wouldn't starve herself to "fit in." Rylie Conner wouldn't cake on makeup to cover-up her insecurity. Rylie Conner wouldn't-_ But Rylie Conner has. But now the question remains; with anorexia aside, the make-up gone and my fancy words taken away, _what's left of me?_ **Who am I? **Because I'm certainly not Rylie Conner anymore.


	17. Monsters and Chocolate

Blake and I both met up in my cabin, we would've met in the Aphrodite cabin, but we wanted our outfits to be a surprise for our sisters. It's January 5th.

"Okay, so how excited are you on a scale of one to insanity?" I looked over to Blake, who was glowing in her pajamas.

"Insanity, and beyond." I smiled excitedly, clutching the garment bag with my dress tightly. It's my 18th birthday today, Blake's too, but it was mine first. Blake grins at me, holding her own dress reverently. We each had our dresses custom made, and we haven't seen each other's yet. "Okay, what's first? Hair, makeup, chocolate…?" I begin to ramble on, trying not to over-focus on the fact that I'm turning 18, and that there will be a party. A party where people look at me. A lot of people.

Laughing, Blake walks over to my chocolate stash and grabs us each numerous pieces. "Enjoy now," she warns, "we can't eat once we're all dresses up."

"I know." Sighing sadly, I grab a bar of Hershey's Special Dark chocolate. I wish it was safe to eat in ball gowns… but saying that my dress alone had been $17,976.84 with tax, it was hard to rationalize eating something that might spill on the satin.

"So… do you think the guys will remember to dress odd? I mean, like, should I have laid something out for Michael?" she teases while grabbing herself a minibar of milk chocolate.

"Probably." I force myself to laugh at her joke, not really wanting to talk about boys, especially Michael.

"Well we can only hope the guys will look as good as us girls." Blake decides confidently, opening her 3rd minibar of chocolate.

"Please… Tonight nobody can touch us, well mostly you, but I'll look ok." I smile encouragingly at the "pretty twin." She never missed an opportunity to be complimented. She just liked being told she was pretty; and I don't blame her. I would've liked being told I was pretty too; but I don't like being lied too.

"You mean that _you'll_ look amazing, and I'll look ok." She humbly replies, making me laugh.

Deciding to change to topic, I return to my original question, "Makeup, dresses, and then hair?" I suggest.

"Good plan." Blake nods, finishing her 4th minibar. "I need to stop eating." I smile at her, it's probably the nerves. Or the baby, I've had cravings since Day One of pregnancy. Well... Maybe that's an exaggeration, but I've definitely had cravings.

"Are we doing each other's makeup or our own?" I ask, wheeling over my giant cream-and-royal-blue makeup kit.

"Each other's," Blake decides with a smile, "Like makeovers." She giggles, reaching behind her for the pink rolling case that contains her monstrous supply of makeup. "Ok let's do it, you first?" she offers.

"Kk." I smile at her, taking a seat in the swivel chair next to my vanity. I know that I'm in good hands, so I close my eyes and let Blake worry about fixing my complexion.

"Ok, so, like, are you excited to know what you're the goddess of?" Blake asks excitedly, she obviously believes that it'll happen tonight. I decide to play along.

"Excited? I'm so beyond excited… I'm about to die!" I laugh, momentarily forgetting that I'm supposed to keep my face still. "Oh, right, sorry." I whisper, straightening out.

"I know, we've been waiting 18 years for this… I can't believe we're 18." There's awe in her voice, and I can hardly blame her. I feel like just yesterday we were 15 and walking into camp that fateful August 3rd.

"I'm still not over being 17…" I confess, "18 seems like a far-off dream."

"And before you know it we'll be 21, and 30, and then 100." Blake shrugs, age is just a number. After all, what is a silly number to an immortal goddess? "Do you think Mom will show up?"

"We'll see… I guess…" I sigh, not wanting to build my hopes up. It wasn't often the gods left Olympus.

Blake catches my mood and changes topics, "I can't wait for everyone to see you." She gushes, applying powder under my eyes.

"I can't wait to eat cake." I admit; pregnancy makes me hungry, and cranky, and tired, and lazy…

"No cake until a half-hour after it's cut. You don't want to look too hungry at your own party! Plus frosting can be messy." She decrees flatly

Laughing, I ignore the pang in my chest that comes every time she criticizes me. "You always were better at following those fashion rules."

"How could I not follow those rules, I don't seem to follow any others…" Blake grins.

"Oh, of course not, Blake. Who wants to follow silly camp rules like 'no feeding people to gian monsters.' I mean, where's the fun in that?" I tease sarcastically, loving the feeling of actually saying something with meaning. Loving the feeling of being Rylie Conner again; not the sad excuse for a teenager I've been acting like.

"Do you know how many people I wouldn't mind feeding to a giant monster?" Blake laughs. Thinking again of Michael, I smirk.

"I can think of a few people myself." As if she could read my mind, Blake quickly interjects.

"Good thing you're a nice little Rylie and follow that rule…" she winks at me, "All done." Standing back proudly she gestures for me to stand, "Your turn to do me!" she sings out, sitting down the swivel chair designed and placed especially for the purpose of makeovers.


	18. Raindrops on Roses

1…2…3… I unzipped my garment bag, revealing the custom-made dress that I had designed myself. Blake's dress catches my breath, a blush pink gown with beautiful beading around the top and an intricately sewn bottom.

"Rylie, yours is so pretty!" Blake gasps; confusion clear on her face. My dress probably isn't what she expected, a modern take on old-style ball gowns in cream and rose coloring.

"Mine? Look at yours! It's so gorgeous!" I exclaim, hers is gorgeous, but mine is perfect for me.

"Let's just agree; they're both amazing?" she smiles, knowing what I know; we each prefer our own masterpieces.

"Agreed." I giggle, hopped up on chocolate and excitement for the party. And then it's time.

"BLAKE and RYLIE!" A voice announces from nowhere, and I hear everyone inside the magically-created ball room grow silent. Of course Blake's name is first, not like birth order matters…

My arm entwined with Blake we walk together into the room as everyone awkwardly applauds, I don't blame them. Who would want to applaud me? It looks amazing. We look ok. Well, Blake looks amazing. I look, well, like me. I hear a Devyn let out a whoop from somewhere in the sea of people. There are more people here than campers… I swear Blake invited all of Olympus… and all the Nymphs... And Satyrs... And Centaurs... Oh gods there are a lot of people looking at me. Judging me.

"Woo! Looking good ladies!" Andrew calls out. I stifle a small smile at Warner's twin brother's boyfriend. It's hard not to love someone as openly gay as Andrew.

Suddenly, the clapping stops and the room lets out a collective gasp. My dad has arrived. On the stage.

"HEY?" he yells out, deafeningly loud. Poseidon glances around, confused. "Oh wait… You can all hear me? Good. I have an announcement."

"Holy sh*t." I hear Andrew whisper

"Oh my Gods…" I hear another girl murmur, amazement in her voice. I just blush, _really dad? You had to show up now? _Because_ I'm not embarrassed enough already?_ Just as I'm wondering why the God of the Seas is standing silently in the center of a ballroom, Aphrodite appears. Out of nowhere. Smiling and looking prettier than even Blake, which is saying someone. Then Zeus.

"What the -" I hear Charlie, a son of Ares, gasp. When the sons of Ares gasp, you know there's some shocking stuff going on.

Suddenly, the stage is filled with Olympian Gods, the entire council of 12 plus Hades has arrived. On my birthday. During my party.


	19. Authors Note :)

_**Hey guys :)**_

_**If I can get to 25 reviews I'll post the next chapter but I don't want to keep writing if I don't have a fan base soooooooo... love me! If you want me to continue the story, or you don't, leave a comment to say what you think about the story so far; and where you think it's going. Do you ship Warlie or Ryleb?**_


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